


come back to me, (even if we’ll have the same ending again)

by eunhaa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, M/M, i guess, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 08:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15659175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunhaa/pseuds/eunhaa
Summary: renjun keeps touching him. keeps coming to him. the bracelet feels heavy now.





	come back to me, (even if we’ll have the same ending again)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry if this sucks it's been a long time since i've written!! but i hope u like it <3 come talk to me on twitter: eunhagfs

it aches a little at first, it blooms after awhile, but in the end the ache dulls down again and is replaced with warmth and joy. jaemin should remember this every time he feels his heart sing those first tunes of anguish, but somehow he always forgets. this time, it somehow feels even worse. he’s been happy, filled with alleviation; he’s been blind.

 

for renjun’s wrist has for a long time been shy of jaemin’s love.

 

he sees it too late, realizes it even later, when he’s lying on his bed playing with his own bracelet. he wonders when he had stopped looking for it on renjun’s wrist and just assumed, foolishly assumed that he was still wearing it. the trinket feels cold against jaemin’s fingers and he wishes he could take it off like renjun, but he _can’t_. it makes his heart ache even more. does this mean jaemin is weak? or that renjun didn’t care? his head thrums with questions through the night, his eyes heavy with tears and far away from sleep.

 

jaemin tries to keep distance, but he fails, for his eyes fail to look anywhere but renjun whenever they are in the same room. renjun still looks the same way, yet jaemin doesn’t feel the same way he did as he does now when his eyes lay on renjun’s face. or his wrist.

 

he feels empty.

 

if jaemin was brave, he would have _asked_ renjun. smiled at him and asked. and maybe he wouldn’t have to feel this way, torture himself with silence during the night and fake his way through the day. he doesn’t ask, but the bracelet stays on his wrist.

 

renjun keeps touching him. keeps coming to him. the bracelet feels heavy now.

 

jaemin should know renjun isn’t stupid. he figures it out eventually, not what’s wrong, but that something _is_ wrong. he corners jaemin and for the first time jaemin wants to run away from renjun. it’s him who is stupid, he realizes as his eyes falter to look at renjun’s wrist during renjun’s questioning ‘ _what’s wrong?_ ’ and the recognition on renjun’s face aches so deep in jaemin that he feels he might crack.

 

the next morning jaemin sleeps too long, but no one wakes him up.

 

they talk later, while jaemin’s hand is in renjun’s and the latter is directing his speech at the bed under them. _you know i don't like wearing jewelry_. jaemin does know. _i didn’t know it meant so much to you_. it did, it still does. _i’m sorry_. jaemin breathes, maybe for the first time in weeks and says, _it’s okay_ and maybe it is.

 

renjun says, _i love you_ , later, his head on jaemin’s heart; his fingers gripping jaemin’s bracelet. jaemin realizes it had been foolish to think that someone’s heart could have only been attached to a piece of metal, when it had been beating next to him all this time even without it.


End file.
